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Big Brother Is Back

For the love of God, let me not be tempted by Big Brother this year. It’s wicked and venial and I know I shouldn’t participate. It’s bad for me and wastes hours of my time.

I’d love to join those smug people who don’t watch it and go around being very lofty about their non-participation.

Arggghhhh…but I’d rather not…I wanna be one of the people who are having fun, especially on eviction night!

It’s not easy being a Catholic and a hedonist. More or less constant temptation! I must ask my brother-in-law for advice – he’s really good on loopholes in canon law.

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raves

Bank Holiday In The Telly Zone

I’ve never been comfortable with the English obsession for fresh air and walks but my English stepfather did a good enough job impressing these as ideals for the family weekend that I still feel guilty if we haven’t put the time in on one such activity.

“I don’t want to go for a walk,” our little five year-old says. “I want to watch TV.”
“You’re not expected to enjoy it,” we tell her, tersely. “It’s just the rules. At weekends you have to go for a walk.”

Rain, of course, is the big saviour in such a situation.

I looked at the sky hopefully this morning, for any sign of being rained in. But no. Then I thought, heck, why can’t I watch TV all blessed day, if I want to? I’m grown-up now!

So I did. Ahh, bliss. Three episodes of Doctor Who season three – which I’d been saving up, and the final two episodes of Stargate SG1. Yes, that’s how far behind I was on my TV viewing, on account of Cuba and writing and even reading.

I like the new Doctor Who assistant, Martha. I like that she’s allowed to be smart and ask technical questions and actually understand the explanations. I loved “As far as I’m concerned you have to earn the title ‘Doctor'” Too right, Martha; ask to see his MD/PhD certificate!

“Smith and Jones” was a good new-assistant introduction episode. Hospital teleported to the moon because it’s beyond the Earth-bound jurisdiction – pretteh, pretteh good. Haven’t seen that before.

“The Shakespeare Code”…hmmm. Liked the Harry Potter references and the witchy magick as another manifestation of alien power, but the ending… “You’re dead clever, Shakespeare, you’ll think of the right thing to say!” The problem is that it’s a strategy that can only disappoint in execution. What would the writer of Shakespeare’s plays say in such an event? We can never know…we can only guess and that just can’t be good enough.

“Gridlock”. Brilliantly original concept, or at least I’ve never come across its like. Stuck in traffic for years…the obvious solution would be to walk, but as we understand at the end, walking ain’t an option. That Face of Boe…he’s such a tease. “You are not alone…” Could that mean that the Master is still around? The Black Guardian? White Guardian? Rassilon? All of the above?

I don’t get why the Doctor can’t go to Gallifrey in the past. Maybe I’m missing out on some bit of DW lore here, not that the RTD version is necessarily sticking to old DW canon (and that’s fine with me), but is there some reason why if Gallifrey is destroyed in the year, lets say, 1 billion, it can’t exist in the past? Did the Time War erase Gallifrey from the space-time continuum for all time? If so how can the Daleks come to exist in the first place? The Doctor was present at the Genesis of the Daleks and if I remember correctly he was sent there by the Gallifreyans.

I’m painfully aware that all of the above will be discussed at length on some DW discussion board. But I’m not going to look. I’m NOT.

The Stargate-SG1 finale was inspired. Wow, Sam Carter has to take a realistic amount of time to work out a solution to a fiendishly difficult problem! What’s wrong with you, woman? Ten seasons of performing scientific miracles, coming up with solutions of pure genius with nothing more than “Major Carter, we need that fix right now… ten seconds before the galaxy explodes…” to spur her on. But finally, finally, finally, she goes “Hmm…tricky one…gonna have to think about that.” Fifty years later, she figures it out.

Yes, you see that IS how long scientific advancement actually takes.

Luckily, Rodney McKay of Stargate Atlantis can still be relied upon for the just-in-time Nobel-prize-worthy fix. Wait until he hears how long it took Carter to solve that problem. His ego will finally rest easy – he IS smarter than her! It may be all that’s needed for him to finally be able to woo her – an excuse to drop all his insecure posturing when he’s around her.

I can still get a couple of episodes of “Life on Mars” in before bed, to make today a day in which I’ve watched as much TV as in the last month.

I didn’t do my chores. And we ate a whole bag of Thorntons peanut brittle.

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raves

That Makes Two

I once admitted to a group of fellow school governors at a conference that I watched Big Brother – compulsively. The reaction was a mixture of amusement and surprise, perhaps that I’d dared admit to something so venial. Or perhaps in sympathy.

Hey, I’m not proud of it.

Two other people have slapped my wrist for the same. The first was a Jewish girlfriend of mine, who admitted surprise that I, as a Catholic, should watch such a show. The other was my literary agent, who thought it a transgression in what he’d taken for my intelligence.

YIKES!

See now, this just makes me want to watch it all the more. For the love of God, take the show off the air, Channel 4!

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raves

What Howard Said

The smartest thing I’ve seen anyone write about Celebrity Big Brother so far:

Howard Jacobson: ‘Big Brother’ encourages us to embrace a condition far more worrying than racism

If society doesn’t value knowledge and wisdom then this is what you get. People with attitudes like Jade Goody, Danielle Lloyd, Jo O’Meara and Jack Tweedy have always existed, but they didn’t get airtime in the days where only the talented, educated and connected had access to the media.

Big Brother claims very strongly to be about democracy. And in a modern democracy – as opposed to an ancient Greek one – maybe there is a requirement to give the uneducated and untalented a chance to reach a platform they couldn’t have aspired to years ago.

Is meritocracy morally defensible? It might be more desirable in utilitarian terms, but is it moral to lock out the uneducated and untalented from the glittering prizes offered by modern celebrity?

(I don’t know the answer – but if any moral philosophers are reading, please feel free to clue me in.)

Very few people can survive the scrutiny of Big Brother and emerge with no stain on their characters. As Germaine Greer learnt when she went into the Big House, the very situation is designed to create moments of human tension and drama. The BB producers rapidly came to understand the buttons they need to press to provoke the required responses. It is designed to bring out the very worst in people, and therefore also (rather less frequently), the very best.

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raves

Celebrity Big Brother – the denouement

Amazing, riveting drama. Unfolding like a Greek tragedy. Ah, only now do they see the error of their ways, Jade and Danielle. The remorse, the enlightenment. Danielle confessing in bedroom whispers to Shilpa that she’s been led astray by Jade because she (Danielle) is young, naive and intimidated by Jade’s personality. Jade performing what looks like a scripted apology to Shilpa as a bemused Jack looks on and says ‘I’m disappointed in Jade. I wouldn’t make up with someone if they’d said that to me…’

Maybe the Big Brother producers have coached their performers, Jade, Danielle, maybe even Shilpa. Either way it makes for spellbinding drama, which for being real has a quality that you simply can’t get with acting.

Jade has begun to realise that her entire career is at stake because she will have been portrayed as a ‘racist b***h’ (her words). The other housemates are in shock as they realise they’re witnessing one or more of their numbers torpedo their careers. Shilpa is too nice and forgiving to be capable of schadenfreude, instead expressing fears over the consequences for Jade.

Jo (ex of S Club 7) murmurs ‘Why’s it so quiet?’ after Davina makes her weekly call to the housemates in stony silence, amid none of the customary ballyhoo.

Jade’s damp eyes and rueful smile as she nods and says ‘I know why.’

It’s only a game show, eh?